Why does this word conjure negative connotations? There seem to be so many things we need closure from as humans. Projects, jobs, family events, painful experiences and death. Do we ever feel that we need closure on positive experiences to move forward…or to advance even further forward, or is it merely the raw emotion of heartbreak and loss that only awards us this process?
Moving forward seems to be less effortless when we obtain closure specifically related to experiences we endure. It often requires a physical act to receive the necessary shift in perspective to move in another direction. Perhaps in shifting our perspective even more, we could view these closures to traumatic experiences as a healing for our soul, a re-birth that will propel us forward. In so much as to award struggle with victory.
I’ve spent a good portion of my last couple years asking many questions of myself. Why is it difficult for me to relate to others? Why do I feel like I’ve shut off my emotions, especially when it comes to death and dying? Why do I have a lack of patience for individuals who seem to require attention for what I deem as frivolous? So often I’ve been told that I’ve experienced so much in such a little time. Maybe it makes others feel better to outwardly express that to me and that’s fine, if it offers closure to them. Why do I feel as though I don’t require any more closure for what I’ve experienced? I think I needed to allow that closure to heal my heart and soul. It’s not necessarily going to happen over night, in fact the process of grieving itself takes a different amount of time in everyone. I’m discovering that the process of allowing myself to heal is the most wonderful experience, and it isn’t more closure that I needed at all. It affords me insight into others and their grief, something that I would have avoided like the plaque 20 years ago; now I am comfortable talking about those emotions and this closure process with others.
Allowing myself to experience all of the emotions is a part of my closure to these traumatic experiences; giving myself permission to move forward beyond and share what I’ve learned is the healing portion that I had been seeking! I am so blessed that I can offer hope to others who have experienced even greater loss than myself in knowing that a purpose remains that is stronger than the struggle or loss. It’s called victory.
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